Support Systems (or Trust His Heart)

A little while ago a friend asked me to be her friend/family member that put down my thoughts about her son, Carson. Carson was born with Spina Bifida, but he's one of the happiest little boys I've ever met. Especially, it turns out, if there is a fireworks show going on. That boy LOVES bright lights!
Anyway, here's what I wrote for her. I'll include the link to the blog at the end. If you know a family with a child who has Spina Bifida, or any Special Needs child, this is a wonderful sight that shares not only the ups and downs of raising a Special Needs child, but the pure joy as well as loving encouragement.

Family/Friend for Karen
I've known three families in my life with a Special Needs child. The 1st wasn't as sobering or frightening as the other two, but he had needs none the less: Luke was born with his left eye missing. He has the lid and socket, but no eye. I remember his mother's testimony to us when the dr. leaned over and solicitously (if somewhat piously) said "Now, we don't know why things like this happen," and she laughed joyously and said "Because God wants them to!" Kind of set the poor man back.

Then I have a second cousin with Down's Syndrome. His parents, God bless 'em, never treated Jimmie Lee any different than any of their other kids. Jimmie Lee has grown up in a loving home, loved for who he is and is loving in return. His parents never questioned God or asked why, at least not in public ... tho' I'm sure "why" is a question that God is asked frequently by many people in many situations. The point is, they chose to trust and thank God, instead.

But I'd never met anyone who God had given the gift of Spina Bifida to, until it was a family in our church. Karen and Bob and the gift of Carson. Why do I say "the gift of Spina Bifida"? Because, as the song says, "God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind; when you don't understand, when you can't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand trust His heart." All children are a gift from God and some children God uses in a unique way to show His loving plan to others. Hence, a gift. Karen, Bob and Carson have the joy of being a unique part of God's plan.

God wants us to tell others about His love, but why would a person with a physical disability listen to someone like me, who is whole and healthy in body and mind (tho' my sister might argue the "whole in mind" part!)? Why would parents of a Special Needs child listen to a parent whose children are healthy when they try to tell them God loves them? But, they'll listen to parents who, themselves, have a Special Needs child. They'll listen one day when Carson, wearing braces and using a walker, tells them God loves them, no matter what, and is never wrong, no matter what.

When I heard that Carson had Spina Bifida, my first reaction was "I've heard of this, but I don't know what it is!" Karen didn't mind explaining to the ladies Sunday school, tho' I'm sure it was difficult as she was still trying to deal with it herself. But, Karen is nothing if not kind and generous of heart. So we learned about it right along with her. And, when Carson was born, our preacher simply requested we ladies restrain ourselves from trying to hold Carson until his parents ok'd it (he had immediate back surgery after birth). Carson's first months of life pretty much involved lots of kisses, cooing and women hovering over him. I'm sure he was a bit confused by it all. Once they were sure his back was fine, Carson began to be passed from church member to church member to be loved on. And, while it may have worried his Mom a bit to watch him move out of her arms, she allowed us to share in the joy of this precious Gift from God. No one has made any fuss about Carson’s being “different”, he’s just Carson. A gift from God to be loved and enjoyed.

Today, Carson has worked up to having to wear braces. I'm sure it's not easy, having to do these things to your child, put him in casts, put him through surgery, put him through pokings and proddings other kids don't have to face and then sticking him in braces. But, while willing to share and answer any questions put to them, Karen and Bob never complain. They make it look easy (which I'm sure it's not) and they smile all the time. And they set a wonderful example by thanking God continually for their precious gift.

I ask myself every now and then, how would I handle it if God gave me the gift of a Special Needs child? I have to admit, I don't know, He hasn't asked that of me. I pray it would be with the trust in Him I see in Karen and Bob. A trust, peace and joy they will transmit to their own Gift.

They choose to "trust His heart"

Go here to follow the Spina Bifida Kids blog

Toe Smooshing Episode II: How Does a Christian Woman Know She Loves God?

Okay, here's the promised second half of Mrs. Teacher's lesson (and my toe smooshedness... not as bad, but still attention getting.)

So, how does a Christian woman know she loves God? Why, you say, she goes to church! Okay. That's one answer. What else?

Uhm... she, uh, I know! She sings in the choir!

Hmm, not what I'm looking for, but another good answer. Anyone else?

O! O! Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter! I know! She invites people to church!

Okay, all very good answers, but not quite where this lesson is heading. Ready? Buckle in 'cause here we go!

1. She enjoys spending time with Him (reading the Bible and praying).

She is constantly learning about Him.

She is constantly sharing with others about Him.

2. She enjoys talking with God in prayer

She sets aside a special time in her day for Him, blocks it out completely (others know not to disturb her during this time)

She prays throughout the day because she enjoys talking to Him

She asks for His direction in everything, even the little things (what does He want from her)

She talks to Him about others (where better to go? talking about other to others can so easily become gossip ~ unless you're getting counselling from your pastor, and you know it!)

She confesses her sin (this brings her closer to her Heavenly Father)

3. She enjoys spending time thinking of ways to please God

She gives Him her talent to use, whatever that may be (art, playing an instrument, what about just vacuming the Sanctuary or cleaning the restrooms? whatever it may be!)

4. She enjoys knowing God is with her everywhere

God's love is enduring. He never stops loving us (no matter what)

She doesn't fear God knowing what's going on in her mind (and He always does, doesn't He?)

Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me."

5. She wants to make God happy with her thoughts and actions

She has no desire to sin on purpose!! (we're human, it happens, but don't go looking for it!)

She asks Him to find and fix her motives for sin

She follows Prov. 16:3 "Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established."

6. She believes God should be the most important being in her life.

God > Husband > Family > Church Family > Friends (which are often part of the church)

God should be first in our lives, but this can be very difficult to accomplish because we can see/hear/touch our family and friends. Oft times it is SO much easier to go to them for advice, a shoulder to cry on, a place to vent, because the response is immediate and visible. God can't be seen with the eyes or touched by the hand and our human mind equates that with uncaring. But, He cares very deeply. He feels our hurts and our emotional pains. And He will help, we just have to accept that it's in His perfect time and His perfect will, not our own.

Learning to establish a right relationship with God now, while I'm a single woman, is so very important. If I don't, and God allows me to marry, how can I establish a right relationship with my husband if God is not first and my relationship to Him not right? This is a difficult habit to build. I will admit now that I skipped my Bible last night. I played first, rather than doing what I knew was right first. God got shunted to the side. This is not an easy habit, but it's one I'm determined to build. I want a right relationship with God. I want to give Him my talents and let Him use them, or not, at His choosing (not mine).

So, before coming on-line to play (and blog) tonight, I sat down and had my devotion time. Yes, I read my "Tea Lovers Devotional" by Mrs. Emilie Barnes, again. I'm finding there are some areas that, scripturally, I have to disagree with Mrs. Barnes. Again, I use the KJV, no other "versions" allowed (I will, perhaps, blog as to the "why" of this another time). Tonight, in the chapter titled "That Inner Feeling" Mrs. Barnes (mis)quoted part of Lamentations 2:17. Her follow up advice went something like this (condensed for interests' sake):

"In order to live intuitively one must have some quiet times to read and think." So far, I'm partially with her. I don't know about the "intuitively" part, but we do need to take time to read God's Word and think on it. He tells us to. Even David said "In thy law will I meditate day and night."

Mrs. Barnes went on to say "God has taught me to read, think and dwell upon what my heart knows to be true. I'm more in tune now with the beat of my heart." Then she gives what she calls "Heart Action: Find the calmer pace of your heart and soul. Take time to listen to your heart so you can discover the truths it holds about yourself, your faith and your Creator."

Mrs. Barnes means well, and is headed in the right direction, but it seems more like she's using verses to validate what she wants to say rather than what should be said. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings." According to what scripture teaches us, our hearts are deceitful, wicked, ... who can know it but God? No, if I want to find and learn what I need to know, I need to obey Prov. 16:1-3 that says "The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits. Commit [my] works unto the Lord, and [my] thoughts shall be established."

God wants to establish my thoughts! How amazingly wonderful! He cares enough to want to help me to think right! I must not listen to my own heart when I'm uncertain (my heart may want an ice cream Sundae or to go watch t.v.) but instead I must find that calm, quiet place (even if I have to into a closet and shut the door) and pray for God's guidance, committing my thoughts to Him, then listen to what His heart tells me.

He's never wrong!

**the above picture is by Ms. Cheri Bladholm which she drew as one of several illustrations in the book "Tell Me The Story Of Jesus" by Gil Beers. I used it to remind us, He cares about even the smallest joys (or cares) in our lives. I truly enjoy Ms. Bladholms' work because she draws Jesus as caring and approachable, not distant and ephimeral. May God continue to bless her skills.

Tea and Devotions

I have begun something I'm almost ashamed to have to admit; and, yet, young Christians need to know that even those who have been saved a long time can fall by the way side. I have been, to my shame, a lazy Christian. I grew up in church, I heard the Bible "stories" all my life and could tell you all about Daniel and the Lion's Den or the Three Hebrew Children in the Fiery Furnace; I can talk about King David and how Jesus, the Messiah, is of the direct lineage of David through His mother, Mary.

But.... I don't know my Bible. Therefore, I don't know my heavenly Father.

Until recently, this hasn't bothered me too much. I could teach Sunday school (I can only be glad God promised His Word would not return unto Him void) and I would feel the pinch of the Holy Spirit from time to time as I would point out how God wants His children to live, but I was able to rationalize it away or ignore it or procrastinate it into oblivion.

How wrong of me.

I don't teach Sunday school right now, and this is a good thing because I'm going to Sunday school. And, BOY, has God used my teacher recently. My toes have been turned into MUSH from her recent lessons and the Holy Spirits gentle stomping (remember, in the Old Testament, He came to Elija, not in the thunder or the wind, but in a still, small voice). Mrs. Teacher has been giving us lessons entitled "What's On YOUR Plate?" Yes, that's a deliberate play on the credit card commercial. The first lesson I remember well, she gave each lady two paper plates, a tissue, a Q-tip and a cookie. Then, she had us take one plate and lick it.

Then kiss it.

Then blow our noses on the tissue and wipe it on the plate.

Then clean our ears and wipe it on the plate.

Then put it on the floor and step all over it.

Then, she told us to take the cookie, put it on either the clean or dirty plate, and offer it to the lady on our left.... O_o*

Yes, we all chose the clean plate!

But, her point was, our lives are like those dirty plates. We have to "clean" them daily by confessing our sins to the Father. I missed the next couple of lessons due to being out of town, but I know she's been working on grounding us in Prov. 16:3 "Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." as well as Matt. 22:37-38 "Jesus sayeth unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment."

I found myself asking me... do I? Do I love Him with ALL my heart, with ALL my soul, with ALL my mind? And I have to answer, no. I don't.

But, then, I can say, praise God that He's a loving and patient God. That He hasn't given up on me, yet. And that He's given me a wonderful woman like Mrs. Teacher who is willing to be used of Him to get His point across.

So, to the Toe Smooshing Episode, Part I:

Two Sundays ago, the lesson was on Sweet Christian Women (i.e. the type of Christian who's just there for the "feel good" part of God's love):

Her Bible Reading:

1. She likes the "empty calories" of God's Word, not the "protein" (i.e., just the "stories", not the lessons God has for her) (owie!)

2. She'll read the Bible quickly, but get nothing from it (just reads because "she should")

3. She "forgets" to read her Bible because she "gets it at church" (ouch!)

Her Prayer Life:

1. She doesn't take time to talk to God (just, "thankyoulordamen!") (smoosh!)

2. She puts it off until later (eep!)

3. She doesn't think she's unspiritual, but she doesn't care enough to put any effort into her/my relationship with God (Mrs. Teacher says to substitute "me, my, I" for all the points.... erg!)

Her Love for God:
1. Is good until she doesn't like what His Word has to say (Mark 4:16-17 - obedience)

2. Is iffy when obeying the law (well, it's just a few miles over the speed limit, no one will know I did [insert sin here] etc.)

3. Her fiscal responsibility/stewardship to God (Prov. 16:3!!!) (don't stop tithing because it doesn't seem like it should work! OBEY God's commands.)

Health:

A "Sweet Christian" blames God for whatever goes wrong rather than allowing Him to go through it with her. She doesn't have enough of a relationship with her heavenly Father to know He's right there, no matter what, and wants her to lean on Him.

Right after this lesson, I found a devotional called "The Tea Lover's Devotional" by Emilie Barnes. I'm enjoying it, and it's helping me read my Bible (I have to because Mrs. Barnes doesn't use just the KJV, and I do) but it's making me think, too. This is good. God wants me to think. In one devotional Mrs. Barnes titles "The Humble Shall Hear" she is pointing out how we need to make our praise to God public so that the unsaved can see and hear and know that God is good. And I agree...

Except...

The entire little chapter is about praising Him for all the good things in our lives. And we should. Every good thing comes from God. But, we should also praise God for the bad things that happen.

Yes, I said that. So did King David and, if ever anyone had low, low, low points in his life, it was King David. Yet almost the entire book of Psalms is praise to God, even for the seemingly bad things that occured in his life (the rest is a plea for cleansing from his sins "create in me a clean heart") In the New Testament, I Thess. 5:16-18 says "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

Rejoicing, praying and praising God go hand in hand in all situations. If the unsaved see me praise God only for the good, what good have I done?

(next post ~ Toe Smooshing Episode II: How Does A Christian Woman Know She Loves God?)

Poetry

Okay, time for the Minstral to flex her abilities.

I love our military. I have no way to express that except to shake the hand of every Vet I meet and tell him (or her) "Thank You." But, how do you thank a man who chose to put himself in Harm's way for people he didn't know? How do you tell a man you appreciate the sacrifices he and his brothers (not to mention his family back home) made in the battle for freedom? Especially when so many FOOLS today want to decry that very sacrifice. Want to heap criticisms on our Warriors. Oh, man! They had SO better not EVER do that to a Warrior, retired or active, in front of me. It's entirely possible I'll be brought to trial for murder with their body as evidence! (grrrr!)

Several of the men in my church were in the military. One was in Pearl Harbor that fateful December 7th. He shouldn't have been, he was just transfering through and was supposed to leave on Monday... the 8th.... He'll talk about that day, tell you of his memories, but his aging, nearly blind eyes will fill with tears as he sees again the horrors Japan visited on our sleeping country. I don't remember his name, but almost immediatly after the attack on Pearl Harbor, a Japanese General is recorded as having said "I fear we have woken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrible purpose." He was so right. And that purpose was fed by the fierce heart of our Warriors. Even one of my cousins was in the Air Force. I don't know exactly what he did, he just smiles whenever he's asked. I know he was in Afghanastan at one point. (during the first Bush administration, I believe) Then there's the men who are in Special Forces. Wow. And our Marines? (in dress uniform, double wow!..... okay, okay, I'll behave) No, seriously, in any branch, these are people dedicated not only to the preservation of peace (even more than the cops mentioned in my previous post, they'd love to lay down their arms), they are also ready for war. They know it will come. They're the ones willing to stand up to the school-yard bully and tell him he's not allowed to cross that line! And, if he does? They're the ones there to meet him. He's NOT going to get near their familes! No way!

So.... how do you thank them? A simple handshake just doesn't seem like enough, yet I've been humbled when I've said my Thank You to Vets and seen them tear up because Just. One. Person. Cared. And their proud, loving families have, too. Don't decry them. Think about them. Think about what they do. What they're willing to do.
Think about how it would really be if they weren't there.
Think about what THEY gave, and give.
Think about their love....

No Greater Love....

As I stare in awe and wonder

At this flag before my eyes,

I see within its glowing depths

Those who fought for Freedom's prize:

The heart to win, the will to fight,

The choice to stand for God and right.

I see the men who knew me not

Yet, for my freedom, fiercely fought.

Of cold and sickness, fear and pain,

Endured all that we might gain.

As I stand in awe and wonder

And I think on Freedom's past

And think of all the battles fought

That Liberty might last:

I hear the cry of soliders lost,

To save my life they paid the cost.

I hear the thunder, battles fierce,

I hear the sobs the heart to pierce.

A mother's loss, a country's gain,

How hard the heart feels not the pain?

As I watch this flag above

And think upon a Warrior's love,

Giving all for Freedom's gain,

Counting not the cost or pain.

Standing fast tho' heart should break,

His friends-at-arms he'll not forsake.

The Warrior's heart will ne'er give in,

For Freedom's sake he'll fight to win.

Proud, this flag shows Warriors' love,

He gave his all for me and you.

It's proof? The stripes of boldest red.

He fought for those he never knew!

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend." John 15:13

© Copyright 2003 Pam Sears (UN: condorsfan at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.