Friday, July 31, 2009

Can You SAY That Word? V......

Warning: This blog is for adults only. Please be aware, while I will not be vulgar, I will be blunt and may say things some people may not like.

I'm going to very, very serious with this blog. There are a couple of things that have been bothering me quite a lot these last couple of years, more so in the last six months or so. But it was an article on the Florida Gater's Quarter Back, Tim Tebow, as well as a series of commercials for the Gardasil vaccine, that finally got me to looking into something that seems to affect younger and younger women.

Cervical cancer and STDs.

Let's start with the commercials for Gardasil. Their big push is "Now you have a choice." They're saying this is a vaccine to protect girls and women, ages 9 to 26, from cervical cancer (except if you already have the cancer or if you're pregnant). They play on a mother's fear of her daughter contracting cancer and all that word implies.

What they don't tell you is that the largest factor in contracting cervical cancer is Sexually Transmitted Diseases, especially HPV (human papilloma virus). According to an article on *, "Teens are especially at risk for STDs, including HPV and herpes. There are sixty known types of [HPV], but only a few can cause [cervical] cells to become cancerous. Up to 90% of cervical cancers show evidence of HPV infection. (though no all HPV infections turn cancerous.)"

Here's the thing, they are trying to tell us that our kids are going to go out and have sex, no matter what. We've already taught them about condoms (and we see how that's slowed down STDs and teen pregnancy!) so now let's get the girls a vaccine to stop the cervical cancer virus. But, shhh!, don't tell anyone it's really a vaccine against certain sexual viruses! And they're laying it at the parents' door. Especially the mothers. (I certainly don't see any dads in that Gardasil commercial... not that any dad I've ever heard of condones the idea of his daughter having sex in her teens. Shoot! He can barely handle the idea that it will happen when she gets married!) They're trying to guilt-trip mothers into giving their kids a license to have sex. But, that same article on also points out that "the developing [cervical] cells of a young woman are more fragile than the mature cervical cells of older women, and more likely to be damaged from the slight abrasions caused by frequent intercourse." (which can lead to abnormal -i.e. cancerous - cervical cell growth) But let's give the girls this shot, pat them on the head and tell them to have sex anyway.

Now they're telling us young teens are performing oral sex and don't think they're having "real" sex. They're what's called a "technical virgin" because they didn't "go all the way" (i.e. have actual, genital intercourse). Right. And studies have proven that you can still get STDs from oral sex. See, you can get STDs from oral sex because bodily fluids are exchanged when the skin of a persons mouth comes into contact with an open lesion or genital warts. Congratulations. You now have a "non-sexually transmitted" STD. (by the way, oral sex is still sex)

I'm sure by now you're asking what all this has to to do with the Florida Gater's Tim Tebow. Well, here's the thing. Tim is an active Christian, a Missionary's son and (gasp) a virgin! Yes, there IS a young man out there who's not afraid to admit he's going to wait until he's married to have sex. When I read this on-line article, there was a "reply to this article" button at the end. Let me tell you, most of the replies were rude, crude, obnoxious, cynical and just plain mean. I'm not going to tell them to you, but a number of "men" (and I use the term loosely) took leave to doubt that a) Tim was really a virgin, but he'd likely have his pick of willing volunteers, now, or b) that he'd (Tim) be able to find a woman in this world who was still a virgin herself (after all, women lie..... what, and men don't? We're human and sinners. We all lie at some point, even if we try not to.) Well, Mr. Cynic (probably a Hollywood producer-wanna-be), let me tell you something. There are still plenty of honest women out there. We just tend to avoid jerks who think we're all liars. No sense in constantly defending ourselves to the unbeliever.

(and here's where I'm about to take a pounding)

The word "virgin" is frowned upon by almost everyone. The secular world, led by Hollywood, makes fun of it (reference the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin"... I've never seen it, but I hate it!). I have found myself loathe to use the word "virgin" in public , almost resorting to whispering whenever I use the word. The world has turned it into an anathema. They want no part of it since it smacks of morality. (I'm not saying the non-Christians are less moral than me, I know some unsaved people who have very high moral standards). But, one of the responders to the article on Tim Tebow made the comment that people who have sex outside of marriage aren't less moral than so-called Christians, they just have "different morals." O.o* Ahhh.... what?

Well, yes, actually, you are less moral; not than me, specifically, but by God's standards. God has the right to tell me/us what my/our morals will be. He has said "NO!" to sex outside of marriage. Period. No debate. No argument. No "But, God, I know you'll understand if I just...." "No" means "No". But Hollywood and the world would rather ignore STDs and all this other "kerfluffle" and concentrate on making the state of virginity a joke. Something to be gotten rid of as quickly as possible! (and laughed at all the while)

Guess what, world? *I* am a 41 year old virgin. If a 19/20-something young man can admit it to a reporter, and be PROUD of it, why should I not? I'm not ugly. I know a lot of non-Christian guys so I could have "taken care of it" at some point, if I'd wanted to. I chose not to (and God helped out a lot, I'm sure. He protects His children!). See, here's the thing about Tim and myself (something, I'm proud to say, that is shared by my sister and several other women and men I know personally), we have an abiding respect for ourselves and others. We do not hold ourselves cheaply. Nor is our self-worth bound up in whether or not we've had sexual relations in the last day, week, month or year. Our self-worth is bound up in God and in His Son, Jesus.

God thought I was worth the life of His Son. Jesus also thought I was worth the price of His life. How amazing is that? And how could I turn my back on such a precious gift by holding my virginity so cheaply as to throw it away on the first man to tell me he really, really liked me. And, if I really, really liked him, I'd do something about it. Young ladies, let me tell you, if a guy really, really DID like you, he wouldn't try to get you to "prove it" to him. HE'D prove it to you by NOT asking for sexual favors. (this works both ways, by the way. There are young women out there determined to tempt a guy into "being her first" because she really "likes" and "respects" him... HOGWASH! Young men, you be just as vigilant as the young ladies!)

This is not to say there are not Christians who haven't gone down the wrong road. Like I said, we're human, we fail. King David failed spectacularly in this area, but God forgave him. Why? Because of the sincere repentance in his heart when confronted with his sin. By the way, that's why David was called a man after God's own heart. God doesn't try to hide David's failings from us. On the contrary, they were many and, well, spectacular. But, time and again, whenever he sinned, big sin, little sin, whatever, David sought the face and heart of God and begged forgiveness. And God forgave him every time. But, He didn't keep David from having to face the results of his sin. That's not how it works. David's sin in the sexual arena was his adultery with Bathsheba. For that sin, they lost the child that was conceived in that illicit union. But, God forgave a truly repentant David and their next son became the greatest king Israel had ever known. Solomon.

Do I think STDs like HIV, HPV, etc., etc. are results of sin? Of course I do. Look at it this way. If every single person on this Earth decided they would no longer be promiscuous but would have one spouse and "keep ye only to him/her till death do ye part", as in have sex with no other person, don't you think all those STDs would eventually disappear? If it's not sexually transmitted from partner to partner to partner, it has nowhere to go! If it has nowhere to go..... then.....

Virginity is not a joke. It's a common sense decision to teach our children. Don't teach them about condoms (they are not that reliable, they sometimes break, they're only latex after all) and don't decide to get them the Gardasil shot. Teach them that God designed sex for a husband and wife, after marriage, only. Teach them that oral sex is still sex. Teach them the Song of Solomon and that sex IS beautiful when it's a husband and wife expressing their love in a physical manner.

Teach them. Or lose them to STDs and cancer.

**by the way, HPV has also been linked to throat cancer. You can read about it here:

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